what makes you happy? December 22, 2008

Things that make me Happy…

Sandburs…

Sandburs still stuck in the bottom of my running shoes…

Finding them on my clothes when I’m having a bad day…

Sandburs;  my memoirs of then…

Cupcakes topped with fluffy icing in soft hues of pink, blue, purple, green and yellow…

Running…

Thunderstorms…

Soft sand under my toes…

Kittens…

Banana snowballs with condensed milk on top…

Puppies…

The rain serenading outside my window and on my rooftop…

Music…

The sunrise…

Standing in the ocean and looking at my feet…

Freedom…

Chocolate and coffee…

Kissing and meaning it…

Second chances…

Sunkissed skin…

Dancing…

Massages…

Laughter of my children…

Wine, fruit, cheese, salt cured meats, chewy bread and a movie…

Loving and not holding back…

Being in a boat on the river…

Wisdom…

Accepting life as it comes…

Being sad…

Waves crashing on the shore…

Hugs and kisses from my angels…

Not knowing what tomorrow holds…

Nothing…

Everything…

But right now, sandburs make me extremely happy…

 

 

 

just listen to the words…  wow.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCkhoOIIcok

 

always here,

kaycee lynn

 

 

 

stained December 3, 2008

 

 

 

I hide myself with in a flower

That wearing on your breast

You, unsuspectingly wear me, too

And Angels know the rest.

 

I hide myself with in my flower

That, fading from your vase,

You unsuspectingly feel for me,

Almost a loneliness.

 

-Emily Dickenson

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In this world love has no color-

Yet how deeply my body is stained against yours.

 

-Izumi Shikibu

I. Once. Laughed. In. The. Face. Of. A. Maniac. November 25, 2008

I once laughed in the face of a maniac

I laughed at the desperate pleas he plead

Laughed at the thoughts running through his head

Laughed when with pointed fingers he accused

Me; and my heart with words he abused

 

I am now the maniac

Grasping and clinging to the sourness around

Ripping and tearing and shredding through sound

Losing myself and my dignity in spite

Of all I try and try as I might

To hold on to every last bit of my heart

That’s being broken and torn apart

Broken over knees like dry fire logs

Lost and wondering through questioning fog

Pieces of me and bits of you

Thrown to the wind with all we do

Floating to the ground likes leaves in the fall

Between gaps in fingers of my own after all

 

Words cut through like the sharpest of knives

Gutting my heart from side to side

What’s left of my love spilling onto the floor

All of me still aching to be held and adored

Slowly time inches by liquid and dripping and leaking

Through cracks in the floor open and creaking

Escaping to a brighter place

Where sun shines warm on my lover’s face

Lips tongue and breath forming tender words of love

Golden beams washing down from above

Showering me I revel in my remedy

Bathing in virtue and pure symphony

Melodic waves running through

Open abrasions cuts and wounds

Stitching sewing and conclusive

Binding together what was torn and elusive

Torn at the seams will never be seamless

Lines map out history of hopeless and dreamless

Nights and days hours and minutes

Mistaking and learning permanent signets

Tattooed and drawn upon my essence

Pictures colored of past and present

Redemption is here I twirl and spin

Delighting in the radiance that beams out from within

 

I once laughed in the face of a maniac

I laughed at the desperate pleas he plead

Laughed at the thoughts running through his head

Laughed when with pointed fingers he accused

Me; and my heart with words he abused

 

 

God is inside me I believe this is true

Evermore through and through

And. This. Is. All. I. Need.

 

breast pumps and other misc items November 17, 2008

i am selling my stuff.  i am selling pianos, bedroom sets, and pretty much anything that i don’t absolutely need.  i’m going through my storage rooms full of baby items that i no longer have use for to sell.  there’s a high chair, a couple of mattresses, a few strollers, some toys and lo and behold my dear old handy dandy breast pump.  now, you breast feeding moms out there know that these liquid nourishment extractors cost a pretty penny.  so, i do what any normal junk hoarding woman would do, i list it on craig’s list.  that’s right.  there is a used breast pump for sale for the next lucky bidder.  any takers?  i know it’s not uncommon, it’s just funny to me.  i have stored up all these items in rooms in my home.  i see them everytime i add to the clutter, year by year, but it never crossed my mind how much time has gone by.  not only that, but i look back and i can hardly believe that i have given birth to two children and at least attempted to nourish them the way the good lord intended.  it’s something i never thought i’d do.  i always wanted children, but not to breast feed them.  but i did.  and i loved it.  anyway, that’s not the point.  the point is you can pretty much sell anything on craig’s list.  so thank you, craig.  where ever and who ever you are.  because of you, moms everywhere can sell and buy used breast pumps and probably much weirder items that i really don’t want to know about…

peace out, yo.

Florida October 13, 2008

i have spent the past 6 days in beautiful sunny florida.  it has been so wonderful to come back to place that i became an adult.  i love it here.  this is where my heart is.  i belong here.  i haven’t yet done all the things that i want to do yet, but i’ll get to them.  or not.  i have spent time alone with god, my parents and friends.  more friends are in my future.  the beach was so beautiful a few days ago.  it was warm, no waves, the water was so clear and perfect.  i’m headed out again today with some friends.  the sun is out and it’s going to be a great day!

 

“-butterfly, you messed me up, made my heart double beat and…”

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZSHt3SF8V8

it’s a glorious day to be alive September 29, 2008

it’s been a while since i’ve written; longer than i like anyway.  my life is filled with fun, fun, and more fun so my days get pretty crowded.  i have to choose in the evening what i want to do: play my guitar, read, write blogs online (which i have to say is pretty awkward when you have someone following your every move: a virtual peeping tom, so to speak). 

but every day is a new day, a new beginning, another chance to get right what i got wrong yesterday.  so, thank you dear lord for this new day.  it is a glorious day!  i stepped outside into the frigid (17 degrees) elements and as that cold crisp “fall” air filled my lungs, i became alive.  i can’t believe i’m enjoying this cold weather, but i feel frisky; it makes me want to run; frolic; like a doe that knows she better her last bit of playing done before “old man winter” sets in.  i decide to go for a run.  i have recently discovered that it’s not as bad as i thought it was.  i actually, dare i say, enjoy it.  YIKES!  i’ve been running on a track and for me it’s better b/c counting the laps helps pass the time.  i have my ipod, but still…  the first two miles are the hardest.  they aren’t really hard, but the third mile is the easiest for me.  i love the last lap because i sprint it.  i love the way it feels to just run.  fast.  FAST.  to feel my legs moving faster than i can think.  i mean, i’m not super fast, but with each pounding stride i feel so powerful.  it feels good.  so good.  i want to run again! 

but alas, my friends, my life calls to me and i must leave you.  i have many many important things to do ;0)

always,  

kaycee lynn

 ”The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.”  – Mark Twain

laugh it up, yo.

               http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WP-CpEbVC98