I. Once. Laughed. In. The. Face. Of. A. Maniac. November 25, 2008

I once laughed in the face of a maniac

I laughed at the desperate pleas he plead

Laughed at the thoughts running through his head

Laughed when with pointed fingers he accused

Me; and my heart with words he abused

 

I am now the maniac

Grasping and clinging to the sourness around

Ripping and tearing and shredding through sound

Losing myself and my dignity in spite

Of all I try and try as I might

To hold on to every last bit of my heart

That’s being broken and torn apart

Broken over knees like dry fire logs

Lost and wondering through questioning fog

Pieces of me and bits of you

Thrown to the wind with all we do

Floating to the ground likes leaves in the fall

Between gaps in fingers of my own after all

 

Words cut through like the sharpest of knives

Gutting my heart from side to side

What’s left of my love spilling onto the floor

All of me still aching to be held and adored

Slowly time inches by liquid and dripping and leaking

Through cracks in the floor open and creaking

Escaping to a brighter place

Where sun shines warm on my lover’s face

Lips tongue and breath forming tender words of love

Golden beams washing down from above

Showering me I revel in my remedy

Bathing in virtue and pure symphony

Melodic waves running through

Open abrasions cuts and wounds

Stitching sewing and conclusive

Binding together what was torn and elusive

Torn at the seams will never be seamless

Lines map out history of hopeless and dreamless

Nights and days hours and minutes

Mistaking and learning permanent signets

Tattooed and drawn upon my essence

Pictures colored of past and present

Redemption is here I twirl and spin

Delighting in the radiance that beams out from within

 

I once laughed in the face of a maniac

I laughed at the desperate pleas he plead

Laughed at the thoughts running through his head

Laughed when with pointed fingers he accused

Me; and my heart with words he abused

 

 

God is inside me I believe this is true

Evermore through and through

And. This. Is. All. I. Need.

 

The Bell Jar November 19, 2008

i love, love, love reading something i’ve heard or read before, but didn’t know where it came from.  or better yet, knowing where it came from, but then it intersects with completely different path of life.  it’s like, “wow”.  but maybe our “paths” aren’t really that far apart.  maybe we each have an imaginary bubble around us and as we choose different “paths”, the scenery changes.  maybe it’s just one long path and it only changes in our mind.  is it curved or straight?  is it dirt or paved?  does it loop-de-loop?  who came up with the comparison of our life choices being paths anyway?  Surely it was thought of long before Robert Frost. 

“I took a deep breath and listened to the old brag of my heart.  I am I am I am.” – Sylvia Plath, “The Bell Jar”.  It’s like finding a treasure that i wasn’t even searching for.  or maybe i was searching, since in a way we are all searching for something.  but, i’m not going down that path today…  i have just finished, “The Bell Jar”.  it was everything a book should be.  Lovely.  Colorful.  Funny.  Quirky.  Smart.  Graceful.  Appreciated.  I absolutely loved it.  I will read it again, for certain.  Read it. 

 

breast pumps and other misc items November 17, 2008

i am selling my stuff.  i am selling pianos, bedroom sets, and pretty much anything that i don’t absolutely need.  i’m going through my storage rooms full of baby items that i no longer have use for to sell.  there’s a high chair, a couple of mattresses, a few strollers, some toys and lo and behold my dear old handy dandy breast pump.  now, you breast feeding moms out there know that these liquid nourishment extractors cost a pretty penny.  so, i do what any normal junk hoarding woman would do, i list it on craig’s list.  that’s right.  there is a used breast pump for sale for the next lucky bidder.  any takers?  i know it’s not uncommon, it’s just funny to me.  i have stored up all these items in rooms in my home.  i see them everytime i add to the clutter, year by year, but it never crossed my mind how much time has gone by.  not only that, but i look back and i can hardly believe that i have given birth to two children and at least attempted to nourish them the way the good lord intended.  it’s something i never thought i’d do.  i always wanted children, but not to breast feed them.  but i did.  and i loved it.  anyway, that’s not the point.  the point is you can pretty much sell anything on craig’s list.  so thank you, craig.  where ever and who ever you are.  because of you, moms everywhere can sell and buy used breast pumps and probably much weirder items that i really don’t want to know about…

peace out, yo.

la vie en rose November 12, 2008

i have recently been introduced to foreign films and can’t get enough of them.  not knowing what foreign movies to chose, i randomly selected, la vie en rose; mainly because i recognized the title.  to my surprise, i made a wonderful choice.  marion cotillard, who at the moment is my favorite actress, plays the part of the legendary, edith piaf.  this a magnificant movie.  i loved it!  watch it.

la vie en rose

Hold me close and hold me fast
The magic spell you cast
This is la vie en rose

When you kiss me heaven sighs
And tho I close my eyes
I see la vie en rose

When you press me to your heart
I’m in a world apart
A world where roses bloom

And when you speak…angels sing from above
Everyday words seem…to turn into love songs

Give your heart and soul to me
And life will always be
La vie en rose

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7psSTndmDI

one of my favorite scenes:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgzz88WtKy4

edith piaf – no regrets

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8YGXsw3XK9I

…. November 11, 2008

i just went for a run…

it’s 10 degrees out…

it was a superb run…

it was more wonderful than i imagined it would be…

however, i would rather run in the heat…

but just to know it can be done is quite a confidence boost…